November 18, 2019
Hello and welcome to the Smile Syndicate Music Hour – the home of Funtime music and comedy. By the we’re done, you won’t believe a single one of your senses.
I’m excited to hear today’s songs. Let’s go, Jason!
First time – thanks very much for taking a chance with us. We will reward your attention with attentiveness, care and love. You are already cherished by both of us. Unlike other podcasts, our new listeners are welcome, and put on a pedestal from the very first show they listen to. There’s more first-timers than normal here today. We’ll tell you how we know in a bit.
Long time – you keep coming back and the more you do, the better we get. Thanks for helping us push this train uphill. It’s tough work, but the more people we have gruntin’ and sweatin’ and pushin’ at the back, the sooner we’ll get to the top of that hill.
On the charts on iTunes Canada!
Time to turn to:
Most blood-drenched, intestine-twisting, flesh-rending music chart in the business.
I see a small above-ground pool in the centre of the Bloodatorium. Two armoured competitors getting in – they each easily weigh 500 pounds. Down into the mud they go – we’re having a proper ol’ fashioned, downhome mud wrestling match tonight, ladies and gentlemen!
Oh, they’re grabbing at each other, but they slip away from each other like greased eels. No bikinis in sight- our warriors are clad in 300 pounds of iron and steel and lead. But what a match! Hmm. They really are not able to get a proper hand on each other. Hard to see how a skull can be smushed if your opponent keeps slipping and falling down. The audience likes – they’re hooting and cat-calling our competitors. It’s hard to see why – it’s like watching two blocks of iron swatting at each other. This is becoming a bit of a problem. The competitors are getting frustrated. Okay, they’re slapping at each other. They’re getting mad now – they’ve separated, oh, they’re gonna charge at each other! One collision to rule them all – let’s see who’s left standing. There they go! Oh, they’ve slipped, ah! They’ve both landed hard. They aren’t moving. Both competitors are out cold. We’re done here. Once again, we prove the Combatatorium is no peeler bar and never the two should meet.
Coming in at number 3 with a bullet, this is The Smile Syndicate and Walk The Rock Walk! Hit it, kids!
CHART – Walk The Rock Walk
RUNDOWN – talk about Winter Solstice With The Mostest.
Music by the busload. Jukebox, Marquee: The Burgled 2000.
We’re doing Miss Elizabeth picks. We hit the charts, so we have lots of new friends listening today.
MISS ELIZABETH PICKS – Accuscope Horoscope (from “A Skeleton Key That Unlocks All Happiness”, August 5, 2019 – 19:56 – 36:22)
Druids celebrating – there’s like 60 of them out there. Playing Red Rover, Red Rover.
JUKEBOX – The Burgled
MISS ELIZABETH PICKS – The Duel (from World War IX, June 17, 2019 – 38:15 (or 40:16 or so) – 55:15 )
Kratzen-Flatzen: dating app. You fill in a weird questionnaire, seemingly insane questions. “HAT OR DOORBELL?” “MOTHER HEN? Y/N” – your results get fed into a big computer somewhere and you get matched with someone. You go to meet the person and you both don’t like each other. You don’t understand why you were put together. But you have to obey the big computer and make this work. 5 or 6 years down the road, maybe you are glad you stuck it out? Maybe you’re miserable. Either way, at least you obeyed the big computer.
MARQUEE SONG SLOT – The Burgled 2000
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So it’s bye bye from Jason.
And bye bye from me. See you on Thursday.
And as always, remember friend, the sun is a jukebox.