Hello and welcome to the Smile Syndicate Music Hour – the home of Funtime music. Check us out on Patreon.com/thesmilesyndicate and show your support by joining the Smile Squad! 
I’m excited to hear today’s songs. Let’s go, Jason! 
Thanks, Miss Elizabeth. And hello, friend. We’re very happy to have you join us today. Thanks for downloading this episode and tuning in. Lots of good stuff in store for you. Before you go to sleep tonight, you’ll think about having chosen to listen to this episode and you’ll gently close your eyes, falling asleep with the knowledge that you did the right thing. We offer funtime music, funtime comedy and funtime CONTENTMENT – the three pillars of a happy life. 
So, we’ve got lots of stuff today that will help strengthen all three of these pillars. First off, we have music. Lots of it. In our Marquee Song Slot at the end of the show, a song from the Lovestorm album makes its podcast debut: EVERYBODY SMILE NOW. You won’t find a bouncier, more relentlessly cheerful song anywhere. Plus, we’ll be taking a peek at those ever active Smile Syndicate Charts and hear a song that’s doing some damage on that thing. Also, we’ll cluster around the Smile Syndicate Jukebox, invade each other’s personal space just a little and listen to a classic Smile Syndicate tune. 
And that’s not all. One of the segments that debuted during our special series of shows during April (which we called April Insanity) was Miss Elizabeth – Investigator of Supernatural Mysteries. Her chilling tale of supernatural goings on right here in Smileton will continue. Bronze statues have begun appearing and the question is huh? What do you mean bronze statues? We’ll find out the latest in this real-life radio serial drama. 
Plus, all this month, we’re doing a new feature called Miss Elizabeth’s Picks where she goes back and pulls our a favorite segment from a past episode so we can all enjoy it again. We’re speeding towards our 50th episode (this episode is number 46), we have new listeners every week, so we think it’s a good idea to go back into the steadily growing archive and revisit something fun. Something new for some of you and an old favorite to you long-time listeners. That’s going to be later in the show. 
But first, let’s check out The Smile Syndicate charts. Week after week, songs battle for supremacy. It’s a total bloodbath. No quarter is given, none is expected – these songs know what they signed up for. The music industry is holding their breath, waiting to hear the latest standings. Each time the chart gets updated, it’s like a meteor burning up in the atmosphere. Bright lights, loud noise, dogs barking and jumping. And this week is just as shocking as the last.  Coming in at number 3 with a bullet, this is The Smile Syndicate and their cover of The Spice Girls’ WANNABE! 
It’s been a great May so far. Days are getting warmer, summer is in the offing. And we’re planning to do something special for summer. Hold the date, throughout July, because SUMMER COMMOTION 2019 is heading your way. Some special episodes in July. It’s going to be a party. Maybe there’ll be some guitar and some singing. Maybe some other surprises. Tell your boss you’re going to be unavailable for all of July, get out on the beach and get yourself ready. SUMMER COMMOTION 2019 coming soon! 
Jorg, the host of the terrible Jorg Presents: The Ultimate Death Metal Podcast , of which Miss Elizabeth is a co-host, and I are going to have a duel. A Bulgarian Mountain Duel. Unicycles, lances, eyepatches – all for honor. The loser has to appear on the winner’s podcast whenever the winner wants. And be happy about it. Checkout the Goldfinger episode from last month to hear from Jorg himself as he and I sparred in a roundtable. Miss Elizabeth wanted peace between us and instead a duel challenged and accepted. 
I’ve got my special jousting unicycle, last week I told you about getting my custom, form-fitting armour from Clenched Steel Fist. This week I was able to get my lance. Went to a custom woodworker – Tab Steele – sounds like a 60s movie star – told him what I needed.  Turns out he’s made lances for Bulgarian Mountain Duels before. I asked him if Jorg and come around asking for one. He said Jorg was banned from the shop but wouldn’t go into it.  So good, I’ve got this great, balanced lance, perfect for jousting on a unicycle. Jorg will probably have to make do with a mop handle. 
It’s really looking like this will finally be happening in June. 
Between this show and Jorg Presents: The Ultimate Death Metal Hour and God knows what other podcasts, Miss Elizabeth is pretty busy. But not too busy that she can’t also investigate the strange, supernatural goings-on in our hometown of Smileton.  So cuddle up in that protective blanket, sip that herbal tea, and whisper to yourself “I’m ready” because it’s time for… 
Let’s go back to a segment from the Turns Out It Was A Hoax episode, which originally aired on December 17, 2018. This is the first time we hear about Lance, his music store Musique By Lance, and it’s the start of Jason’s on-going feud with Smileton’s mayor, Patty Pepper. It’s getting hard to keep track of all the people Jason’s feuding with, but going back to segments like this once in a while should help.  
MY WEEK – Musique By Lance / Guitar War / The Mayor (from Turns Out It Was A Hoax) (7:30) 
Today’s episode of The Smile Syndicate Music Hour is brought to you by Titanic Telescopes, your best source for telescopy-related equipment since before your grandfather was born. 
Here we sit on the flat disc of Earth, spinning like a dinner plate around that old sun, forever staring up into the heavens. But why stay in the city, with its light pollution and hills and awful uneven ground. Stop by Titanic Telescopes, buy one of our deluxe telescopes and escape into the country side. The light is only from the stars and the ground is flat for as long as the eye can see, just as God intended. Get an eyeful of mighty Jupiter, its stern disc turned up at us like a dinner plate balanced on its edge. Wonder at the bizarre optical illusion of Saturn where the eye is fooled into seeing rings. The Universe is full of flat, disc-shaped wonders and our telescopes are the only keys you need to unlock these dizzying secrets.  
So head to Titanic Telescopes, right downtown beside Maude’s Massage. You’ll walk right off the edge of the world before you’ll find a better telescope. 
We’re going to do another Miss Elizabeth Picks.  
MISS ELIZABETH PICKS – Mailbag from The Universe Is Nude (25:33 -> 45:55) – maybe some editing. Just before 41:00 “I have a few questions for you” – just cut that line. Cut to “Whoa, Pensive…” Keep the Avengers question. 
We’re going to listen to a Mailbag we did earlier this year. This one comes from The Universe Is Nude episode, which originally aired February 18. Mailbag is always fun and you should get in on the fun, too. Send us a question on any subject to mailbag@thesmilesyndicate.com and your question could very well appear in a future episode. So let’s take a listen . 
Keezle – It’s all AI. No fuss, no muss social networking. If you’re like most people, you don’t have hours in the day to be looking at Facebook, checking Twitter, posting to Instagram. You have better things to do but you do still need to maintain that vital social networking presence. That’s where Keezle comes in. You sign up, fill in a simple questionnaire and Keezle does the rest. It posts for you, it finds friends for you, it interacts with them for you. You’ll never have to log in again.  
The Smile Syndicate is on there, but the AI decided we’re actually a vet dental clinic. Our profile has loads of photos of smiling dogs and cats, and testimonials from satisfied customers. Not what I would have expected, but it’s working for us. So check us out on Keezle, and book your animal companion in so we can help give them the best smile possible. 
MARQUEE SONG SLOT – Everybody Smile Now 
And here we are, the Marquee Song Slot. What this has all been building towards. Today, we’re featuring a Smile Syndicate song that originally appeared on the Lovestorm album. It’s the closing track. The final burst of sunshine before the album takes its bows, hops in the car and drives away from the theatre. This is called “Everybody Smile Now”, it’s one of the first Smile Syndicate songs written and its message is still as timeless as the day it was written. 
So, put down the pizza pocket, the sunflower seeds, the dried banana – whatever you’re snacking on – and get focused. Funtime music, straight up.     Listen. 
That’s it! We hope you enjoyed the show. If you did, you are going to LOVE the benefits of membership in The Smile Squad! Join our just cause as we pursue the values of independent music, side-splitting comedy, fantastic histories, true mysteries, and smiles in general.   
Go to Patreon.com/thesmilesyndicate and select the level of membership that feels most comfortable to you, remembering that sometimes it pays to push beyond your comfort zone. Patrons of The Smile Syndicate get extra stuff, including the secret (but shareable) knowledge that you are supporting true independent art directly out of Smileton, Planet Earth.   
If you want to support the show, but you can’t right now because Mr. Cherries ate your last dollar, you can help by leaving us a kind review on iTunes, or by telling a friend about the cool, fun town of Smileton, and all your new friends here.   
So it’s bye bye from Jason. 
And bye bye from me. See you next week. 
And as always, remember friend, the sun is a jukebox.